I arrive at this campus to deliver a speech about -nimal rights and the reasons why all fully enlightened humans, like myself, choose to eschew meat based food and become Vegan. The truth is that food has a far greater effect on the psyche than most people realise - you slowly become what you eat. Everyone here who eats hamburgers is slowly becoming a slow and clumsy cow, for example. I pause and snack on the vegan refreshments thoughtfully provided by the hosts. I start to speak and then pause - this cookie is delicious- It---s so tasty I begin to wonder if it is--- I gasp with horror. ---This cookie has beef in it- You tricked----- before I can finish my sentence I am overcome with an overwhelming desire to get down on all fours. My mind grows fuzzy, I realise I am MOOOO-ing rather than speaking. As the change finally takes over me I let go of a cow sized series of bubbly farts.----Contains: FARTS - FARTING - MAGIC CONTROL - TRANSFORMATIONS
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